Products of Silence

Doctor, Doctor

2009-10-05T22:21:00.003-05:00

I got sick last week. It started with a sore throat within hours my head was pounding and I was running 103 temperature. Not fun. I waited a day or so, thinking I could tough it out, but ended up going to the doctor. However, by this time the fever was gone and other than a red throat, I didn’t really have any proof of my illness. The doc tested me for a few things and promptly decided it was just a “little virus” that didn’t need any medication.

Later that same day, my roommate Sarah went to the same clinic with the same symptoms. She left with a shot in the arm and a diagnosis of strep throat. When I called my mom to tell her this story our conversation went something like this:

Mom- Well Lindsay are you jealous?
Me- Yeah, kind of.
Mom- So you’re saying you wish you had strep throat?
Me- No, Mom. I just wish I had something, you know? So I could have left with some medicine and not the ‘you’re not sick so quit being a baby’ look.
Mom- She didn’t give you that look, and obviously something was wrong. You don’t run that high of a fever for no reason.
Me- No, nothing’s wrong, just a run of the mill, no need for a doctor kind of virus. And you weren’t there, she totally gave me that look.
Mom- I think someone is being a little dramatic.

The more I thought about this later that night, I realized that though I was trying to be a little funny, the essence of it is true. I wanted to be sick, I wanted a diagnosis of something “substantial.” Basically, I wanted validation. I wanted the doctor to validate how crummy I felt, because then it would be ok to feel that way.

I do this in a lot of areas in my life. I look for validation from others, I look to be told that I’m a good worker, daughter, girlfriend, friend. When in reality I know I am, or at least I try my best to be. But sometimes I let myself get so caught up in the words of others or lack there of.

I’m not saying encouragement isn't important; believe me I am all about some words of affirmation. I just think it’s interesting, or frustrating rather, that I so easily forget where I should be seeking my true validation. And that if I find my identity in Him, therein lies all the validity I’ll ever need.

Note: I’d like to take this time to note what a trooper my sweet boyfriend was during this illness. He brought flowers, medicine, and sherbet, didn’t think it was weird that I always cry when I get sick, and took me to the doctor. Plus, he didn’t even care when I accidentally wiped snot on his shoulder.

L.O.V.E.

2009-09-18T09:13:00.002-05:00

To me Fall has always felt like a new beginning. For others it may be Spring or the first of January, but Fall is mine. Maybe that’s because I sometimes secretly wish I was back in school shopping for pencils and trapper keepers, or maybe it’s because Tennessee is so beautiful this time of year. Regardless, when September rolls around, I always feel like I’m starting over. I become a little more reflective and considerably more aware of how great our God is.

Lately, I’ve just been in awe of His love. I wish I could say that is something I’m always aware of, but often I go through life so focused on myself that I don’t stop to see anything around me. However, the past week or so I’ve consistently been reminded of what a loving God He is. I’m seeing his love give hope to friends that are hurting and I’m becoming more aware of how perfect and precise his timing is. I think my favorite of all is the realization of how steady this love is. How it is a love we can rest on without condition.

As I start this Fall, my new beginning, I hope that I’m able to carry this awareness of His love with me…and in turn, that I’m able to imitate it. I hope that you, my friends, can carry it with you as well. And know that you are loved.

Here I Go Again*

2009-09-18T00:36:00.016-05:00

Consistency, blogging, and Lindsay. Things that don’t go together? Apparently. But it’s almost Fall and updating just feels right. Before I completely jump back in, it seems that a life update is in order. So, here goes…

Once upon a time, or rather six months ago, I met a boy. We started dating and it’s been great. He’s amazing, really. He’s kind and funny, sweet and patient, and incredibly talented. Did I mention cute? Plus he can do really quick math in his head. I’m a lucky girl.

My sweet, sweet nephews are home and doing so well. They’re six and half months old and are as cute as can be. I love being an aunt and can’t wait to see them again.

My dear friend Sarah got married, it was beautiful. And my oldest friend Jennie had a baby girl. Ahh!

It’s been a great year. I'm excited for the rest of it. :)

*I hope you too are singing that Whitesnake song.

3.12.09

2009-03-24T14:16:00.010-05:00

I’m back. It’s been a while, I know, and I’m sure all you avid readers are relieved. Ok, my mom and Courtney are. Quite a bit has been going on in my life…new job, new people, I got a hair cut. But by far the most exciting thing I have to report is that on March 12, 2009 at a little after 11am, I became an aunt!

The boys arrived much earlier than expected and the last 12 days have been some of the most trying my family has ever experienced. I won’t go into all the details but I am so happy to report that the babies are doing well. They’re fighting with every bit of their little 2.4lb might and giving us all new reasons to celebrate daily.

I’ve never been more aware of how great our God is and of how small my faith can be sometimes. Against all odds, He’s been faithful to us, answering prayer after prayer…and sending people to love on my family. People to pray, people to encourage, people just to listen. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so thankful for the body of Christ, for the church.

Speaking of family, I’ve always said my brother is one of my heroes. So, I guess it only makes sense that he would end up with someone equally as incredible as his wife. Physically Ashley’s been through so much, and I can’t even begin to think emotionally. But she‘s handled everything with such courage and grace. I couldn’t be more proud to know her, much less call her my sister.

It’s been a bit surreal but exciting to see my baby brother become a father. Casey is probably the most transparent person I know, so it’s easy to see how completely he loves the boys. He’s doubted his strength in the past 12 days, but I couldn’t disagree more. There’s a certain strength in being real, in asking for help, and in realizing that you can’t handle things alone. One day the boys will realize how lucky they are to have him for a Dad.

Nearly every question doctors have had or tests that have been ran have come back with good news. They’re little hearts are healing, their lungs are growing, they’re eating more and depending on the ventilator less. We know there’s a long road ahead but I have every reason to believe that in 10 short (or extremely long) weeks, I’ll be camped out in Casey and Ashley’s guest bedroom holding my nephews as much as is physically possible.

Now friends, without further ado, I’m estatic to introduce you to the two most precious and perfect baby boys on the face of this earth. Please meet Luke Evan and Jackson Hodges Beals…

Luke

Jackson

MJ and me.

2008-12-09T00:11:00.000-06:00

One of the best perks of living in Nashville is that at any given moment you’re in close proximity to live music. And not just any music…quality music. I’ve been in a concert going phase the past couple of months and have seen some great performances. I don’t think I’ll ever cease to be amazed with how many talented people there are in this world. It’s really incredible…but I digress, that is not my point.

At the (absolutely and completely fantastic) Kings of Leon show, there was a guy behind us that was really getting into it. There’s a chance that he may have been slightly inebriated…and by slightly, I mean totally. He was screaming his heart out. It was as if this was the show he had waited his entire life for, and maybe it was. However, this charming man became the person of discussion as Sarah Mac, Erin, and I walked back to the car that night…and this question was soon posed: Who do you have to see in concert before you (or they) die?

I’ve been thinking on this for a while now. There are a lot of artists I’d love to see for the first time: U2, Snow Patrol, Jump Little Children (after they reunited, of course), Keane, Patty Griffin, The Police, Lionel, Britney, etc. And artists I’d love to see again: John, Coldplay, Kings of Leon, etc. But there is one who trumps everyone. One ring to rule them all…

I’ve been a fan of Michael Jackson since the release of Thriller in 1982. I was almost two years old and my wise mother bought me a t-shirt with the special edition album cover on the front and my name in fuzzy letters on the back. I loved this shirt* and never wanted to take it off. (My mom thinks I’m making this up, but I remember.) It is still, and will always remain, my favorite article of clothing.

There’s just something about Michael’s music that I love. Something that made me learn the lyrics to "PYT" probably before I should have, and made me save my allowance to buy the Dangerous cassette the day it came out. There is a reason that the videos for “Black or White” and “Remember the Time” premiered on primetime tv. He is undoubtedly the King of Pop and the person I need to see in concert before one of us is gone.

I can just imagine seeing him perform. Well, in my imagination I’ve got a front row seat and he’s the Michael of the 80s. Regardless, it will be phenomenal. I’ll cry during “Will You Be There.” Who am I kidding? I’ll cry during “The Way You Make Me Feel.”

There are rumors of a new album and world tour in 2009. This is just another reason that ’09 is shaping up to be my year…but details on that are for another day, another post.

So, now friends, I want to know…who’s your Michael?

*Note: While home over Thanksgiving I tried to locate said shirt. My mom seems to have forgotten where she “stored” it. If it isn’t found over Christmas there is a chance that we won’t be speaking for a long, long time. Mom, I know you’re reading this. Please don’t take it as a threat, just a reminder from your loving daughter.

A Lot Like Love

2008-11-25T00:29:00.000-06:00

My solution to nearly everything I deal with is to love. I always think if I could love more, love better, love harder, life would make more sense. If love could be at the core of everything I do, then those characteristics I struggle with would be easier. Patience wouldn’t be so hard, faithfulness would seem so tough, I’d actually be slow to anger…or irritate. I just want to love well.

There’s a lyric from a song on Keane’s new album that’s been rolling around in my head for the past few days. “And love is just our way of looking out for ourselves when we don’t want to live alone.” I don’t know what the band meant by this, but I know it’s caused me to think.

Is that true? Do we love just to be loved? As I stop and think about this desire I have to be good at love, I wonder if it has less to do with living like Christ and more to do with me. I have this idea of the person I want to be, of the reputation I want to have. And I’ve always sort of lived by a “fake it till you make it” philosophy. In doing so I take a lot of things into my own hands…and well, usually screw them up...with the best intentions of course. And I wonder if I’m doing that again.

I know my desire to be good at love is genuine, but maybe I’m going about it all wrong. Maybe forcing myself to react in ways I think I “should” or extend grace when I’d rather scream, isn’t the way to go. Perhaps this the kind of love that Keane is talking about. Loving others for my sake. But that can’t be lasting, right? Or real.

In reality shouldn't my focus should be on learning to love God more, learning to love what He loves…and in turn learning to love who He loves, how He loves? Maybe now, I'm on to something...

Coldplay and Commodores

2008-11-19T00:26:00.000-06:00

Lately, I’ve realized how much I appreciate camaraderie and community (and apparently words that begin with “c.”) I’m all about experiences, and I love sharing them with others…friends or strangers. So, this post is dedicated to things of that nature.

Coldplay
This summer during an all too rare day of sitting by the pool with Sarah Mo and Sarah Mac, we started talking about Coldplay’s upcoming tour. Granted I’m a fan of the band, but I wasn’t too keen on buying a ticket, after all, I’m pretty partial to my arm and leg. However, after being assured that the concert would “change my life.” I gave in.

The concert was last week. I still can’t stop talking about it. I’m starting to annoy myself. It was simply phenomenal. Somehow Coldplay managed to make a huge area with a sold out crowd feel like a cozy, club setting. It wasn’t flashy or over the top, but it was done well. Very well. There were moments where I wished I could open my eyes just a little wider, to take it all in. The music was amazing. The most incredible part is that I left feeling appreciated. I left knowing that Coldplay was happy, grateful even, that I was there. I have no doubt that they are genuinely nice people, don’t try to convince me otherwise. I also left with an increased love and admiration for my friends who were there with me. I wanted to keep saying “I’m so glad I got to share this with you.” But then I was nervous that if I did I might lose some of my street cred.

Commodores
This year marks my second season of being a Vanderbilt University Men’s Basketball Season Ticket Holder. VUMBSTH for short. I was raised on college basketball and the older I get the more I enjoy it. I’m not sure there’s a better sector of sport out there. Being a UK fan, I’m partial to the SEC…so last year when I heard how ridiculously cheap Vandy season tickets were, I couldn’t say no. I lucked out and got to see one of the best seasons in the school’s history. I’m excited to see what happens this year…and even more excited to be going with a group of great girls.

I think my favorite thing about sports in general is the camaraderie between fans. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’ve come from…there’s just an affection that wells up in your heart when you’re cheering for the same team. There’s an unspoken understanding that you’re in this together, you feel the same joys and pains, you laugh and boo, you scream and hug. For those few moments you forget that it’s just a game, that you’re complete strangers, and you’re free to act ridiculous…in unison.

So, welcome College Basketball Season, welcome. We’ve missed you.

Raindrops on Roses

2008-11-10T01:21:00.000-06:00

I’ve had a bit of a crappy weekend. (Right now my mom is cringing at my word choice.) So, in a small attempt to somehow counteract that, I’ve decided to start thinking about things I’m thankful for a little early. Here’s my current list, in no particular order.

1. Fall. It’s beautiful in Tennessee this time of year and I think I audibly appreciate it every day. Love it.

2. Soup Sundays. Each Sunday this fall Sarah, Whit, and I have made a different soup and “fall dessert” to go along with it. It’s comfy and cozy and delicious.

3. My dear friend and roommate, Sarah. She’s my constant support and dose of reality. She’s understanding and patient. She makes life happier and makes me funnier.

4. Cardigans. I’m not sure there’s an article of clothing I love more.

5. Basketball Season and Vanderbilt Season tickets. I’ll always be a UK fan at heart but I love having an SEC team in town.

6. My fiercely loyal friend Courtney. She feels my hurts and joys as if they were her own. She’s always on my side and knows exactly what I need to hear.

7. I’m going to be an aunt in June. Have I told you that we’re getting twins?

8. My new Benefit lip gloss. It’s shiny but not sticky…and smells good.

9. Haley and Sarah Mac. My Mississippi friends who can always make me laugh and just make life more fun.

10. Stripes. I love them, always have. And apparently they are in this season. Score.

11. My birthday is exactly two months from day.

12. Coldplay. Live. Tuesday. In Atlanta. Can’t wait.

13. Carpooling with Adam and Jake. Saves gas, helps the environment, and makes my mornings a little more interesting.

14. Jennie Paiva. My oldest friend who can still finish my sentences and read my thoughts. My friend who knows that after saying ‘read my thoughts’ I’m going to start singing Gordon Lightfoot’s “If you could read my mind.” She’s without a doubt one of the wisest people I know.

15. Luci. Jennie’s baby girl who we’ll get to meet in March. I’ve had so much fun buying dresses for her.

16. The new Snow Patrol album. It’s very Snow Patrol and that makes me very happy.

17. Sugar Free Cinnamon Lattes at Starbucks. I can’t tell the difference and it eliminates all processed sugar guilt.

18. Borders Rewards. It’s free to join and they always send members really great coupons. Plus at the checkout when the cashier says “Are you a Borders Rewards member?” You can say “yes!” Then inevitably he/she will be nicer to you.

19. Lost is coming back soon…which means so are Thursday nights at Nate & Larissa’s.

20. Ichat. It gets me through the day.

Come On, People!*

2008-10-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

I turned on CNN tonight expecting to see election coverage, not a Sarah Palin dummy hanging by a noose, John McCain depicted as being burned alive, or the photo of a man who had plotted to assassinate Barack Obama. I was, and still am, so disturbed by these images. I just don’t understand.

When did we as a society decide that these political figures were no longer human, therefore don’t deserve to be treated with common courtesy? When did demonizing the competition become the norm? I understand that anyone who runs for a political office, especially the presidency, is and should be under heavy scrutiny. That’s the nature of the job, and perhaps the price of pursuing a dream. But this has to be going too far.

What happens when Sarah Palin’s youngest daughter turns on the tv and sees her “mom” hanging by a noose? Or worse, what happens when someone actually does make an attempt to take Barack Obama’s life? How is any of this justifiable?

I know these are extreme cases, but we live in a world where we state our opinions as fact. We use our right to freedom of speech as an excuse to be cruel. And sadly, Christians are often the worst. Facebook is even being used to condemn each other, to boldly proclaim that “Jesus hates Democrats.” Or vice versa.

It makes me wonder where we, as Christians, made the wrong turn. When did we become so arrogant to believe that God’s love is dependent on party lines? Or so confident to make false claims on His behalf? I guess ultimately, I wonder what happened to loving people. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be about…in everything we do. Granted I fail miserably at this daily, but I wonder how things would look different this time of year if we all jus t took a step back and realized that we’re all the same. We’re all loved the same, by the same God.

*I borrowed this phrase from your friend and mine, Mr. Bill Cosby.

Now, I get it...

2008-10-25T23:23:00.000-05:00

I’m a creature of habit. I like schedules and plans. I’m all about structure. Tradition makes me happy. If left to my own devices, I’d have the same meal for lunch and dinner for a week. So, it doesn’t really take much to shake my world. Just one thing really…change.

Change and I have an odd relationship. I’m not afraid to try it, but I think it takes me longer to adjust to it than the average person. No matter how small, I notice. I’ll rearrange the furniture in my bedroom and it'll take me a week to feel normal again. That’s just me.

Currently, I’m in a state of transition. I won’t bore you with all the details but I’ve been struggling to figure out things. There have been a lot of questions, a lot of whining, a little anger, some tears, and yet I still feel like I’m where I began. Ultimately, I’m trying to learn what it means to truly find my identity in Christ.

I couldn’t sleep a few nights ago and while my mind was racing, I understood. I understood that God created me to hunger for an identity, a self worth, outside of myself. He created me to find my identity in Him. In the midst of this understanding, my “aha! moment” as O would call it, I was so relieved. My issues weren’t solved, but I’d like to think I saw things a little clearer. I think for the first time in my life, I truly believe that regardless of where I work, what goals I have, where I live, who likes me, or doesn’t…none of that changes who I am.

I’m secure knowing that He’ll never leave me. He always loves me. I’m never too much…or not enough. That He who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it. (Please cue the Steve Green song of the same title)

I know it’s a small realization, and one I’ve had to remind myself of daily. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to deal with things better. That I’ll be able to remember that some of the greatest things in my life started with “Ok, let’s do this…”

Baby, Baby

2008-10-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

Friends, I got some big news last week. Big news. I, Lindsay Ann Beals, am going to be an aunt. Wait, it gets even better...it's twins! Ahhh!!

My brother and sister-in-law, Casey and Ashley, told the family last week. Now, if you've been reading my blog you know that I've been waiting for this for a while. However, when Casey actually told me, I didn't believe him. Making my brother mad by refusing to believe him wasn't the best way to start off my role as an aunt.

I keep randomly remembering that the babies are on the way, and I swear my heart skips a beat. I know the guys in the office are tired of periodically hearing "Guys, I'm going to be an aunt!" I just can't help it. It's like that feeling I get on Christmas day when I remember my birthday is just 15 days away. My excitement doubles instantly.

I'm positive my beautiful sister-in-law is going to be a fabulous mom. And I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that even when she's 5 months pregnant she will probably still be skinnier than me. :) I have no doubt that my brother, whom I completely adore, will be an amazing father. Since he grew up with the greatest dad in the world, he'll know what to do.

I'm gearing up to be the coolest person in their young lives. I want to be the one who gives them candy when their parents say no, who lets them stay up late and always shows up with presents, the one they threaten to call when they get in trouble. Seeing that I'm the only family member who doesn't live in the same city, I'm not above bribing these kids to love me.

The twins will join our family in June. The doc says they're identical. I can't wait to find out if they are boys or girls. I hope it's healthy to be as excited as I am.

On a somewhat related note, I'm watching Jon & Kate Plus 8. I love this show and this family. Could they be any cuter? I think not.

My Bad, Iran, My Bad

2008-09-29T15:38:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night Sarah and I camped out in front of the tv to watch the first presidential debate. Though not very riveting, it did get us talking. We came up with a few ways that we think the government should approach foreign relationships. So, for those of you who aren’t privy to these sorts of conversations in our household, here’s an inside peek:

Sarah: How much of a threat is Iran to us? Is this something I need to be thinking about?
Lindsay: Well, I’m not totally sure about the urgency, but I don’t think we should mess with Iran.
S: It seems like we are always picking fights with the wrong people. Why can’t we be the bigger person and try to be friends with other countries? Can’t we call up Iran and say “My Bad.Let’s work this out.”
L: Hmm, true. But we might need to do more than just call…

Solution #1 Picnic

Sarah: You’re right. Why don’t we have a really big picnic?!
Lindsay: I like where you’re going with this. A backyard barbecue for peace.
S: Right. Except maybe we should go over there, so we’re not on our own soil.
L: Yes. We can provide the chicken, sweat tea, and cobbler
S: And they’ll supply whatever they eat at picnics
L: This could work.
S: I just wonder if one time will do it.

Solution #2 Secret Pals

L: It probably won’t.
S. Yeah, the picnic is good step but it might not right all wrongs
L: You know what we should do? Secret pals. We could send all foreign leaders a questionnaire about their favorite candies, books, movies, etc. Then every week for a month we send them gifts.
S: Ooh yea, but do you think we need to do longer than a month??.
L: How about 4 then? You can only hate someone who’s sending you presents for so long.
S: What will be the big prize at the end!?
L: An all expenses paid trip to Disney World.
S. Hmm, again on our soil?
L: We could send them to Epcot in Japan.

Solution #3 The Mob

S: Or maybe we shouldn’t take all the blame. Maybe we need to stand up to them.
L: You know who’s good at taking care of their enemies?
S: Who?
L: The Mafia, that’s who.
S: Of course!
L: Let’s just get in good with a mob boss and get some advice.
S: Or just let the mob boss run it.
L: Because once you’re a part of the family they take care of you.
S: True. Our enemies would become theirs.
L: And vice versa
S: But how do we get in?
L: We bribe them.
S: With what?
Silence
L: Well all I’ve got right now is honey.
S: Honey? Honey? ! You’re going to bribe a mob boss with honey?!
L: It’s the first thing that popped into my mind!
S: Are we talking like big jars or an allotment at every meal?

New York Minute, Part Two

2008-09-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

I’ve been meaning to post this for a couple of weeks now, but have a had a little trouble deciding where to start. In short, our trip to New York was truly amazing. I couldn’t have asked for a better trip or a better group of girls to experience it with. I could probably write for days about it all, but in effort to keep it short, here’s a list of some highlights.

12. Our first night we saw the city lights on a double decker bus . I loved every touristy minute of it. Plus, Haley won a dollar.

11. Central Park. Friends, do not spend hours searching for a life size Chess set here. It does not exist. However, I really enjoyed quiet of the park.

10. China Town. Whoa.

9. FAO Schwartz. We got to play the Big Piano…and they had a Harry Potter store within the store.

8. The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. It’s like you could feel the history there. Though, I was a little disturbed by the “make yourself look like an immigrant” photo booth.

7. Subway. I am still completely amazed by the subway system. I loved the convenience, the air conditioning, and how it made me feel like I was being rocked to sleep.

6. American Museum of Natural History. Who doesn’t love a stegosaurus?

5. New York Public Library. It’s beautiful. It made me want to drop everything and research… something.

4. Broadway. Wicked was phenomenal. I almost wanted to cry at the end of it. The Little Mermaid was pretty incredible as well. Although I did end up singing “Part of Your World” for the remainder of the trip.

3. Today Show. We were on tv and met Al and Anne. Mission Accomplished.

2. Conan O’Brien. I laughed. Hard. He’s taller, cuter, and funnier in person. It was really fun to be there for a taping of the show…in the front row.

1. Empire State Building. Yes, it’s tall and has quite a view of the city. More importantly, this is where my two dear friends, Sarah and Whit, got engaged. This isn’t my story to tell, but I will say that was so excited to be part of it and I couldn’t be happier for them.

All pictures courtesy of Sarah Moseley.

New York Minute

2008-09-09T10:08:00.000-05:00

This Thursday Sarah Mo, Sarah Mac, Haley, and I leave for our 6 day adventure in New York City. I don’t believe it’s physically possible for me to be more excited. If I were, I’m certain my body would explode…or implode. Hmm.

We’re going to see Wicked, Conan, Celine, Matt & Meredith, Lady Liberty, Tiffany, and pretty much anything touristy you can think of. Giddiness rushes over me when I think of walking through Central Park or seeing the Empire State Building at night. I am fully prepared to welcome my role as a tourist with open arms.

One stop I’m really anticipating is the New York Public Library. Yes, the library. Friends, in case you don’t know this about me, I love libraries. I’m a big fan of bookstores but nothing compares to a library. I love the idea of a whole community sharing the same books, getting to know the same characters, turning the same pages. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that the books are free. So, here’s a little preview of what is awaiting me in New York…

Also, on a related note. I was in Minneapolis last weekend for work and was fortunate enough to spend a few hours with a friend who lives there. As he was showing me parts of the city I saw this...well minus the snow.

In efforts to be completely honest with you, I feel here is where I need to mention that I currently owe a late fee to the Nashville Public Library. However I fully intend to settle that soon...and include a note of apology.

Rock the vote?

2008-08-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

I like history. I love learning how certain things came to be, or why we do the things we do. And I think this is the reason why I have always been somewhat fascinated by the election process. Local, state, federal, it doesn’t matter…I like the process of electing. I am so intrigued by the complexity of it all. Now, I don’t claim to do enough research on each candidate and I’m ashamed to admit that I sometimes choose people for reasons that have nothing to do with their political platform. However, I am that girl who gets up early on Election Day, gets a little too excited to enter the voting booth, and wears the “I Voted” sticker for the entire day.

Lately though, something has changed. Perhaps it’s because I’m growing up, or because I’m at a stage in my life when I’m questioning things, or because I’ve been listening to a lot of Derek Webb. :) I’m not sure, but what I do know is that the political process has lost the magic I once thought it had. And I’m struggling to see where I, as a Christian, am supposed to stand.

So, in the hopes to see things clearer for November 2, I’ve started reading “Jesus for President.” Tonight I was reading a section about our citizenship in Heaven, specifically Jesus saying “My kingdom is not of this world” in John 18. The authors talk about how He was speaking more about essence than location. All of my friends who are so much wiser than I probably already knew this, but I’ll admit this idea hit me hard. I think I’ve always thought of God’s kingdom as being in Heaven thus I felt detached. I’ve never really considered that this kingdom was not only a part of the “real world,” but also very political.

To an extent I’ve always separated God and government, resting on “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s.” But now I’m seeing that maybe giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s wasn’t meant to separate God from government, but to make us question what really did belong to Caesar. Which was nothing, right? Nothing of importance anyway.

Now it seems that by pledging my allegiance to this kingdom, it would make it hard to support the way my country’s government is run. How can I pledge my allegiance to a God who teaches that evil can be fought without being replicated, that enemies can be calmed without being destroyed…and then in turn jump to support our presidential candidates? On the other hand, I'm certain that I'm not meant to throw in the towel either..

I’m not trying to be philosophical, I really just don’t know. I guess I have a lot more reading to do…

Congratulations, it’s a…house?

2008-08-26T17:03:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember my family has been unable to keep secrets from each other. We pretend that we will, vow that we won’t tell so and so about such and such, but that never happens. This is especially true when there is good news.

Today my dad called to tell me that I needed to call my brother. He actually wouldn’t tell me why, but insisted that I call him. “Casey has news.” I, being impatient and presumptuous, immediately called Casey, while unsuccessfully fighting back tears. I know this is it. My baby brother is getting ready to tell me that he and my sister-in-law are having a baby. I'm going to be an aunt. I can hardly stand it. Somehow within those few seconds I already started planning what my first baby gift will be. And this is what happens:

Casey- Hey Sis.
Lindsay- Casey, what is going on?
C- What do you mean?
L- Does Ashley need to get on the phone? What’s the news?
C- Did Dad already call you?! I just got off the phone with him!
L- Yes. So??
C- Unbelievable. Well, Ash and I are…homeowners!
L- Oh! Wait…um, what?
C- We bought that house.
L- Oh, well that’s…great.
C- You don’t sound very excited.
L- I thought you were having a kid. I was already crying.
C- Ha, no. Way off.
L- Hmm. Man. Does it have a pool?

Summertime

2008-08-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

My job requires me to travel quite a bit in the summer. I love this part of the job, and I’m very fortunate to travel with some truly incredible people. I’ve officially made it through another season and here are a few things I learned along the way.

1. Apparently I’ve hit an age where I’m cursed with motion sickness. I thought it was just swings for a while, but no airplanes and cars now too.

2. No matter what the pharmacist tells you even “Dramamine alternatives” make you sleepy.

3. You can always count on Holiday Inn Express

4. It is illegal to use your cell phone while driving in California.

5. My coworker, Chris Blaney, is really funny.

6. Once you’ve seen one ballpark, or 20, you’ve pretty much seen them all.

7. Everyone, everywhere loves the Olympics. Or should.

8. It’s pretty much never a good idea to plan an outdoor concert in Texas in August…or Mississippi, California, Arizona, etc.

9. If you hang out in airports long enough you will see celebrities (i.e. Anderson Cooper, Dierks Bentley)

10. I like to travel, but I love coming home.

The Beginnings.

2008-08-26T03:22:00.000-05:00

When I was younger I had the hardest time keeping a journal. I could never let go and just write. I would always write with the idea that someone, someday would read it. Because of this I always tore out my entries thinking they sounded ridiculous or fake. It kind of bothers me now, to think of how guarded I was then.

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for a while now. Not that I think anyone other than my roommates and parents will read it, but because there seems to be something therapeutic about it. Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself…in reality I probably jus t like to hear myself talk.

Regardless, I’m going to give it a try. So, here goes…